A Future with Fortran

Your rating: None
3
Average: 3 (1 vote)

 

QUANTUM SHORTS 2017: PEOPLE'S CHOICE PRIZE
>> Read an interview with the author

 
Bzzt.  My phone vibrates on the desk, and I glance up from my textbook.  A message from my granny flashes on the screen. “Do you know any good jokes about Fortran?”  Not really.  Wonder why she wants jokes about Fortran?  Bzzt.  Another message from Granny.  “I’ve got a date tomorrow with a guy who did Fortran programming.”  Ah, that explains it.  My granny has recently been exploring the exciting world of Online Dating.  Somehow it seems she always gets paired with nerdy engineering types.  At least she’s getting dates . . . might be time for me to give online dating a try as well.  
 
“Sorry, no Fortran jokes.  Btw, would you help me set up a dating profile?”
 
“Of course, sweetie.  My, how the times have changed!  My granddaughter is asking me for computer help!”
 
Smiling, I resume my studies.  I’m taking a modern physics class, and we are learning about the hypothetical quantum particles known as Tachyons.  If they exist, they have the potential for superluminal motion.  It’s fun to think about the possible application to time travel.  If you can travel faster than light, then you can travel forwards and backwards in time . . . all it would take is one scientist with the faith to take the chance on a new idea.
 
I visit my granny that weekend, and together we make my profile, laughing as we fill out the questionnaire.  “Now,” she says, “all that’s left is to wait and see who is revealed as your match.”  I wonder how the computer determines pairings.  Computers operate on a binary system.  There are only two possibilities: yes or no.  What if the computer makes the wrong choice, and rejects my one true soulmate?  
 
We play a game of chess, but as each of us perfectly anticipates the other’s moves, it ends in a draw, and I return to campus.  I spend the night dreaming of blueprints for a time machine, and I am greeted the next morning by an email written in flowery script:
 
~Congratulations!  You have a new match!~
 
And he seems perfect, and he wants to meet me on Thursday, and I’m so excited I’m no longer thinking in complete sentences.  I text Granny the good news.  
 
“Wow, that’s fantastic!” She says, “I’m going out on Thursday as well!  The fella I’m going with better be more impressive this time because he’s already got one strike against him.”
 
“What happened?  Why did you put Fortran Man on probation?”  
 
“Oh, he thought Patrick Henry was one of the U.S. Presidents.”  Ah, that’ll do it.  
 
Granny arrives spontaneously at my dorm on Thursday afternoon.  “Good heavens, is that what you’re wearing?  That frumpy dress will never do, sweetie.  Good thing I thought ahead.  You can wear this; it’s what I wore when I was dating in college.”  I smile and take the proffered clothing, which is still in fashion.  Granny always has timeless taste.  
 
The evening finds me laughing and smiling, and I realize that if my future self develops a method for time travel, this is the moment to which I would return.  It seems the computer knew what it was doing when it said “yes” to this charming guy.  I glance beside me, and see Granny sitting with her date at the table next to us.  How had I not noticed them before?  I wave happily.  
 
“Oh, do you see someone you know?”  My date wears a puzzled expression.  
 
“That’s my granny on her date!”  I explain, turning to introduce them.  But when I turn, I am greeted by the window and a perfect reflection of myself.  Granny is nowhere to be seen, and I shake my head, confused.  
 
“Aw, that’s sweet.  Tell me about your granny.”  Hearing this, I snap back to the present.
 
“Well, she’s amazing.  She also studied engineering here on campus, and then she did research at the national lab.  I don’t know any details because it was super-secret, but I think it was related to superluminal motion.  You know, I’ve been studying that recently-- the application to time travel is fascinating!  Anyway, my granny, she’s a big nerd, and she loves to play chess, and sing, and dance, and ride horses, and she grew up on a farm with pet chickens and goats, just like me.  Granny and I have so much in common, it’s almost like we’re twins!” I laugh.  “So, tell me about your work?”
 
“Well, I’m studying to be a computer engineer, and recently I’ve landed an internship programming medical devices using Fortran.  Your granny sounds like an amazing person; maybe I’ll have the honor to meet her someday.”
 
“In that case, you should know she’s peculiar about history, so make sure you know your presidents.”  
 
I went home that night humming a happy tune.  Bzzt.  My phone vibrates; Granny wants to know how it went, and I eagerly dial her number.  We both gush about our evenings, as it appears Granny had a lovely time with Mr. Fortran Man.
 
“I thought he was on probation for the whole Patrick Henry fiasco?”  
 
“Oh, turns out he was joking.  He’s memorized all the presidents, their running mates, and terms of office.  Apparently, when he was in college, he went out with a girl who recommended he memorize the presidents if he wanted to impress her grandmother!  Ha!  But anyway, sounds like you had a great time; I know it’s only the first date, but do you think he could be The One?”  
 
“Well Granny, I’ve got a 50% shot.  After all, there are only two possibilities: yes or no.”  
 
“Ah, leaving your soulmate to the toss of a coin.  I hope you make the right choice, sweetie.”  And then, quietly, wistfully, she adds, “I hope you make the right choice this time, because the alternative is a much lonelier timeline.  Choose wisely . . .  for both of our sakes.”
About the Author: 
Lily studies Materials Science Engineering at Georgia Tech where she brings her own flavor of quarky nerdiness to campus. She won the 2015 People’s Choice Award and is thrilled to have her superposition sentence emulated in so many alternate realities in the entries of Quantum Shorts 2017.
Share this fiction

Quantum Theories: A to Z

G is for ...
Gravity

Our best theory of gravity no longer belongs to Isaac Newton. It’s Einstein’s General Theory of Relativity. There’s just one problem: it is incompatible with quantum theory. The effort to tie the two together provides the greatest challenge to physics in the 21st century.

W is for ...
Wavefunction

The mathematics of quantum theory associates each quantum object with a wavefunction that appears in the Schrödinger equation and gives the probability of finding it in any given state.

B is for ...
Bell's Theorem

In 1964, John Bell came up with a way of testing whether quantum theory was a true reflection of reality. In 1982, the results came in – and the world has never been the same since!

K is for ...
Key

Quantum Key Distribution (QKD) is a way to create secure cryptographic keys, allowing for more secure communication.

H is for ...
Hawking Radiation

In 1975, Stephen Hawking showed that the principles of quantum mechanics would mean that a black hole emits a slow stream of particles and would eventually evaporate.

C is for ...
Clocks

The most precise clocks we have are atomic clocks which are powered by quantum mechanics. Besides keeping time, they can also let your smartphone know where you are.

V is for ...
Virtual particles

Quantum theory’s uncertainty principle says that since not even empty space can have zero energy, the universe is fizzing with particle-antiparticle pairs that pop in and out of existence. These “virtual” particles are the source of Hawking radiation.

M is for ...
Multiverse

Our most successful theories of cosmology suggest that our universe is one of many universes that bubble off from one another. It’s not clear whether it will ever be possible to detect these other universes.

U is for ...
Uncertainty Principle

One of the most famous ideas in science, this declares that it is impossible to know all the physical attributes of a quantum particle or system simultaneously.

N is for ...
Nonlocality

When two quantum particles are entangled, it can also be said they are “nonlocal”: their physical proximity does not affect the way their quantum states are linked.

T is for ...
Tunnelling

This happens when quantum objects “borrow” energy in order to bypass an obstacle such as a gap in an electrical circuit. It is possible thanks to the uncertainty principle, and enables quantum particles to do things other particles can’t.

R is for ...
Randomness

Unpredictability lies at the heart of quantum mechanics. It bothered Einstein, but it also bothers the Dalai Lama.

E is for ...
Ethics

As the world makes more advances in quantum science and technologies, it is time to think about how it will impact lives and how society should respond. This mini-documentary by the Quantum Daily is a good starting point to think about these ethical issues. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qc7gpabEhQ&t=2s 

P is for ...
Probability

Quantum mechanics is a probabilistic theory: it does not give definite answers, but only the probability that an experiment will come up with a particular answer. This was the source of Einstein’s objection that God “does not play dice” with the universe.

G is for ...
Gluon

These elementary particles hold together the quarks that lie at the heart of matter.

Z is for ...
Zero-point energy

Even at absolute zero, the lowest temperature possible, nothing has zero energy. In these conditions, particles and fields are in their lowest energy state, with an energy proportional to Planck’s constant.

Q is for ...
Quantum States

Quantum states, which represent the state of affairs of a quantum system, change by a different set of rules than classical states.

H is for ...
Hidden Variables

One school of thought says that the strangeness of quantum theory can be put down to a lack of information; if we could find the “hidden variables” the mysteries would all go away.

U is for ...
Universe

To many researchers, the universe behaves like a gigantic quantum computer that is busy processing all the information it contains.

M is for ...
Maths

Quantum physics is the study of nature at the very small. Mathematics is one language used to formalise or describe quantum phenomena.

L is for ...
Light

We used to believe light was a wave, then we discovered it had the properties of a particle that we call a photon. Now we know it, like all elementary quantum objects, is both a wave and a particle!

I is for ...
Interferometer

Some of the strangest characteristics of quantum theory can be demonstrated by firing a photon into an interferometer

T is for ...
Time travel

Is time travel really possible? This article looks at what relativity and quantum mechanics has to say.

D is for ...
Decoherence

Unless it is carefully isolated, a quantum system will “leak” information into its surroundings. This can destroy delicate states such as superposition and entanglement.

E is for ...
Entanglement

When two quantum objects interact, the information they contain becomes shared. This can result in a kind of link between them, where an action performed on one will affect the outcome of an action performed on the other. This “entanglement” applies even if the two particles are half a universe apart.

I is for ...
Information

Many researchers working in quantum theory believe that information is the most fundamental building block of reality.

S is for ...
Superposition

The feature of a quantum system whereby it exists in several separate quantum states at the same time.

F is for ...
Free Will

Ideas at the heart of quantum theory, to do with randomness and the character of the molecules that make up the physical matter of our brains, lead some researchers to suggest humans can’t have free will.

K is for ...
Kaon

These are particles that carry a quantum property called strangeness. Some fundamental particles have the property known as charm!

D is for ...
Dice

Albert Einstein decided quantum theory couldn’t be right because its reliance on probability means everything is a result of chance. “God doesn’t play dice with the world,” he said.

J is for ...
Josephson Junction

This is a narrow constriction in a ring of superconductor. Current can only move around the ring because of quantum laws; the apparatus provides a neat way to investigate the properties of quantum mechanics and is a technology to build qubits for quantum computers.

T is for ...
Time

The arrow of time is “irreversible”—time goes forward. On microscopic quantum scales, this seems less certain. A recent experiment shows that the forward pointing of the arrow of time remains a fundamental rule for quantum measurements.

Q is for ...
Quantum biology

A new and growing field that explores whether many biological processes depend on uniquely quantum processes to work. Under particular scrutiny at the moment are photosynthesis, smell and the navigation of migratory birds.

O is for ...
Objective reality

Niels Bohr, one of the founding fathers of quantum physics, said there is no such thing as objective reality. All we can talk about, he said, is the results of measurements we make.

C is for ...
Computing

The rules of the quantum world mean that we can process information much faster than is possible using the computers we use now. This column from Quanta Magazine ​delves into the fundamental physics behind quantum computing.

P is for ...
Planck's Constant

This is one of the universal constants of nature, and relates the energy of a single quantum of radiation to its frequency. It is central to quantum theory and appears in many important formulae, including the Schrödinger Equation.

W is for ...
Wave-particle duality

It is possible to describe an atom, an electron, or a photon as either a wave or a particle. In reality, they are both: a wave and a particle.

A is for ...
Alice and Bob

In quantum experiments, these are the names traditionally given to the people transmitting and receiving information. In quantum cryptography, an eavesdropper called Eve tries to intercept the information.

B is for ...
Bose-Einstein Condensate (BEC)

At extremely low temperatures, quantum rules mean that atoms can come together and behave as if they are one giant super-atom.

S is for ...
Sensors

Researchers are harnessing the intricacies of quantum mechanics to develop powerful quantum sensors. These sensors could open up a wide range of applications.

Q is for ...
Qubit

One quantum bit of information is known as a qubit (pronounced Q-bit). The ability of quantum particles to exist in many different states at once means a single quantum object can represent multiple qubits at once, opening up the possibility of extremely fast information processing.

A is for ...
Atom

This is the basic building block of matter that creates the world of chemical elements – although it is made up of more fundamental particles.

M is for ...
Many Worlds Theory

Some researchers think the best way to explain the strange characteristics of the quantum world is to allow that each quantum event creates a new universe.

Y is for ...
Young's Double Slit Experiment

In 1801, Thomas Young proved light was a wave, and overthrew Newton’s idea that light was a “corpuscle”.

C is for ...
Cryptography

People have been hiding information in messages for millennia, but the quantum world provides a whole new way to do it.

S is for ...
Schrödinger Equation

This is the central equation of quantum theory, and describes how any quantum system will behave, and how its observable qualities are likely to manifest in an experiment.

A is for ...
Act of observation

Some people believe this changes everything in the quantum world, even bringing things into existence.

S is for ...
Schrödinger’s Cat

A hypothetical experiment in which a cat kept in a closed box can be alive and dead at the same time – as long as nobody lifts the lid to take a look.

T is for ...
Teleportation

Quantum tricks allow a particle to be transported from one location to another without passing through the intervening space – or that’s how it appears. The reality is that the process is more like faxing, where the information held by one particle is written onto a distant particle.

R is for ...
Reality

Since the predictions of quantum theory have been right in every experiment ever done, many researchers think it is the best guide we have to the nature of reality. Unfortunately, that still leaves room for plenty of ideas about what reality really is!

X is for ...
X-ray

In 1923 Arthur Compton shone X-rays onto a block of graphite and found that they bounced off with their energy reduced exactly as would be expected if they were composed of particles colliding with electrons in the graphite. This was the first indication of radiation’s particle-like nature.

L is for ...
Large Hadron Collider (LHC)

At CERN in Geneva, Switzerland, this machine is smashing apart particles in order to discover their constituent parts and the quantum laws that govern their behaviour.

Copyright © 2024 Centre for Quantum Technologies. All rights reserved.