Travel guide to the organic world for energy beings and other such life forms

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This information package serves as an introduction for those intending to visit areas of the universe where organic beings are prevalent. In particular, a great density of organic beings can be found on the planet Earth, whose solar system is contained in an insignificant galaxy known as the Milky Way to its inhabitants. The dominant life form on Earth are bipeds known as humans, which have a tendency to destroy themselves and other organic life forms on the same planet. It is recommended that you arrive in the dark-energy dominated era, for optimal viewing of this species.

Although organic beings inhabit a different level of existence from the intended recipients of this information package, in select cases it may be right to describe them as primitive, as certain energy life forms are indeed indirect derivatives of such beings. ‘Living fossils’ such as /^***^/ are software beings still in existence on various space colonies within the Milky Way galaxy. They represent uploads of the human species, a milestone which would occur soon after the era you intend to visit. It is commonly believed that with the advent of quantum computing, several new species were derived from the original uploads. With help from neighbouring energy life forms, these species were freed from hardware and integrated into the universe. Thus, the human species could represent an indirect ancestor for certain recipients of this information.

Primitive of not, however, this species is dangerous to potential travellers. The greatest risk is posed by a subspecies of the humans, known as researchers. These spend long amounts of their time fussing over ‘experiments’ in order to produce packages of incomplete facts known as ‘papers’, which are somehow essential to their survival. Unfortunately, these ‘experiments’ pose great risk of altering the form of energy and such beings, and in serious cases, result in decoherence. The next section highlights recommended courses of action in some possible situations.


What to do if…

(1) you or some parts of your information pattern are captured by the researchers to be bombarded in a particle collider:

Spawn a bunch of strange offspring such as neutrinos, tetraquarks and Higgs bosons. The researchers will happily babysit them so they (the researchers and the offspring) bother you no further.

(2) you are split into particles by the researchers to fire at slits:

Have your daughter particles go through both slits at once for some interesting results. Or try some other pattern, perhaps replicating popular music trends. This will greatly mess up their experiments but is essentially harmless to both you and the human researcher, for they do not understand your fundamental properties anyway.

(3) you are forcibly entangled with other particles produced by the researchers:

Be advised that if either you or the entangled particle is measured, the entanglement will be broken but both of you will cease to exist. The act of measurement will define a new reality for your particles which results in loss of original information.

(4) you are sucked into a black hole near the destination:

Do not panic. Before the event horizon, you still have a chance to turn back. Afterwards, well, it’s too late. But on the bright side, time still passes the same from your perspective. You will only appear to be slowing down from the perspective of everyone else. Bring your friends along to pass the time. However, if you discover that you are unable to stand each other, note that you will be stuck together until the end of time. Also note that organic life forms are unable to approach too near a black hole before they are spaghettified. This will prove lethal to them. Do not bring any friends you make on Earth.


Warnings: Beware of furry tetrapod organic beings that vibrate. These are known as cats and they are able to sense your presence. They are not friendly.

There is a risk of destructive interference near any electrical device created by humans. This is slight but not negligible. Also beware of destructive interference due to waves produced by natural phenomena and radiation from neighbouring stars.


Note: Under the Interspecies Agreement, Article 67890, Section 839, all energy and quantum life forms are prohibited from interfering with the natural development of organic species. In particular, this means that you are not allowed to deliberately make any modifications to the genetic material of any organic species that will alter the course of their evolution, no matter how much you think the planet is in need of a (new) intelligent life form. Also, you are not allowed to deliberately invoke existential crises in human researchers, no matter how much you are annoyed over the loss of half your electrons.

Do not merge your quantum bits into space in order to expand it near the vicinity of organic beings. It is forbidden to alter space-time for organic beings.

Creatures known as jellyfish are able to sense your presence and are much friendlier. Hang out off the coast of Florida if you are looking for some company.


Disclaimer: The information contained in this travel guide is not exhaustive. Any trips taken will be at your own risk and you acknowledge the possibility of becoming a mass of unconnected quantum randomness. Any circumstances, covered or not covered in this travel guide, are not the responsibility of the publishers. Also, we are not responsible for any unfortunate outcomes of following the advice mentioned in this guide, which might include, but is not limited to, irate researchers.


It’s a lot to think about, but could be substantially less if you alter space-time to a point where you have finished thinking about it, or to a point where you wouldn’t have to think about it. We hope you enjoy your journey to the organic world.


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