The mathematics of quantum theory associates each quantum object with a wavefunction that appears in the Schrödinger equation and gives the probability of finding it in any given state.
I should’ve specialized in tax law, I just know it. Instead I decided to become a Quantum Lawyer. It was a growing field in law, and I jumped on the bandwagon. None of my four years in music theory and three years in law school could prepare me for my first case.
Don’t get me wrong, nobody said this was going to be easy. But give me a break, give me something easy. My colleague was given a case to defend someone who was going the speed of light in a speed of sound zone. The traffic camera couldn’t pick up the license plate properly, throwing out the case almost instantly! But of course I couldn’t get a simple homerun like that.
I scratched my forehead at the case I was given; Quantum Mechanics v. Bhaskara. I knew I should’ve raised my hourly wage, then maybe Bhaskara wouldn’t have hired me. He was being charged with criminal negligence of breaking the 1st and 2nd law of thermodynamics. He was found with a perpetual motion device in his pocket, apparently he was suspicious enough for an officer to stop and search him. After some questioning Bhaskara revealed he was on his way to show his friend Honnecourt the device.
So I did what any lawyer would do: I thought about how I should’ve been an engineer and got to work preparing for the trial day.
The trial day came and the prosecution started with their opening statement.
At the judge’s bench sat a tall woman who, after fixing her glasses, gestured with her hands at the prosecution and said “Whenever you’re ready with your opening statement, prosecution.”
A big, deeply southern voice boomed from the standing obelisk shaped robot. “Your honor, I was programmed ready. Now listen here folks of the jury, I’m just a simple Ai lawyer from the backwoods of a quantum computer. If it’ll please the court, I’m here to bring justice to this courtroom, and reckon to expose a man for the crimes he committed to the laws of thermodynamics.” At this point an anti-gravity shelf lowered itself to the body of the robotic lawyer bringing down a device. The device had a wooden base, about two inches deep. On the top was a disc about 5 inches above the base with a hole in the middle of it. Connected to the hole was a ramp that went all the way down to the base, trailed on the base for about three inches, and then shot back up ending slightly below the disc. A human assistant grabbed a small metal ball and placed it inside of the disc. The ball orbited around some until gravity did its job and brought it to the hole, where after entering the hole went down the ramp and shot up back into the disc. As this was happening the lawyer picked back its opening statement. “Now I say, this device was found on Mr. Bhaskra’s person. And as you can all clearly see, it is in fact a perpetual motion device.” The human jury gasped at this statement, and the robotic jury members let out some air from their battery. After this, the lights from the lawyer’s visor dimmed showing it was done with its opening statement.
The judge gestured for me to begin my statement. I fixed my windsor knotted tie, took a sip of water, and stood from my counsel chair.
“Ladies, Gentlemen, and Ai of the jury, I am here to defend Mr.Bhaskara today. Mr.Bhaskara stands today being wrongly accused of a very serious crime. Quantum Mechanics is here today hoping to bring down this innocent man for breaking the 1st and 2nd law of thermodynamics. They will tell you how Bhaskara is revolting from the laws we all must follow, but I see him as revolting against something else. I see him revolting against the unknown, I see him revolting against standards that chain us down. Mr.Bhaskara is not a criminal, he is a visionary. Yes, the perpetual motion device,” which at this point was still perpetually moving, “may be breaking the laws of thermodynamics, but who is to say that the man is breaking the laws, or the laws are breaking the man. I look to you, jury, to make the right decision and find my client as not guilty. If you hear me I will show how the prosecution cannot prove without a shadow of a doubt that my client is guilty.” A bead of sweat rolled from my face, and I sat back down.
I knew this case was a lost case. They had hard evidence, and everyone saw it in action.
But a miracle happened.
Right after my statement, the whooshing sound of the perpetual motion device slowed down. I looked over, and it probably was just my eyes tricking me, but it really seemed like the robot lawyer was nervous. Two more cycles went through and on the third the little ball made it up the ramp, but dropped out of the air and hit the table, bounced twice and rolled onto the floor. The human assistant beside the robot lawyer quickly scrambled on the floor to pick up the marble, barely grabbed the marble with the padding of their fingertips and rose quickly. In the process of doing so the assistant hit their head on the floating shelf, knocking the device down onto the floor. The bottom of the device popped out, revealing a battery packet and electromagnet which was responsible for the device to work. After that was revealed, the prosecution's case was in shambles and I easily walked away with a case win.
Sure, nobody said this was going to be easy, but it might be!