To many researchers, the universe behaves like a gigantic quantum computer that is busy processing all the information it contains.
‘Love is one soul inhabiting two bodies,’ I had heard someone say a few million light years away. Well, it couldn’t be truer for us. You remember it, don’t you, how it all began? A tumult in the now-tranquil cosmos, the quantum foam frothing on the shorelines of vacuum that poured particle pairs out of the bosom of nothingness. Leptons and antileptons, bosons and antibosons, you and me – each of the pairs having a half of the same soul enclosed inside them, a soul entangling us together in this bond of eternal love. I remember the chaos that there was, particle over antiparticle, particle against particle, each trying to find its way to its soulmate – the One. I almost had you within the stretches of my field when it happened, the Big Bang, and off it thrust us asunder to the opposite ends of the universe, condemning us to solitude. To this instant, I haven’t had a second look at you.
I’ve lost count of the number of moments I’ve spent away from you – eternity minus one, whatever that comes out to be! It’s been forever, almost, meandering mindlessly in this sea of nothingness with no One to stay by my side, no One to seek completeness into. I have seen too many of our brethren giving up on their pursuit of the One and conglomerating into clusters – starting off with nothing larger than small balls of quarks but ultimately evolving into these giant clusters of megaparticles. If one has to endure this endless misery of dissociation from their One, isn’t it a fair bargain to settle down with your brethren who understand you? Who will give a new meaning to your existence, will let you be a part of something grand? Just your spins clipped, your locomotion confined; a small sacrifice to make at this point. Look at Polaris, and think about the quarks’ burning souls which fuel its light. Look at Cassiopeia, and ponder over the quarks’ excitements that beat its raging heart.
So much better off than us they are, wouldn’t you say? And yet, even in all their grandeur and glory, I have seen them suffering just like us. I have seen the most sapien of them gazing mindlessly into nothingness, looking for something. I have seen the largest and brightest of them wandering off into the cosmos, finding nothing. I wonder whose soul would be strong enough to conquer the most majestic of these megaparticles? Or perhaps, no force, no matter how strong, can ever conquer the entanglement that binds us with our One. If that is the case, what good is it to have the voice of your heart lost in the murmur of countless similar entreaties – to the point of not hearing it yourself?
Sometimes, I get to catch a glimpse of some newer brethren as well. Oh, if only they knew how lucky they are to not have been born during the Great Inflation, to never have gone through what we have endured since forever! I watch their dance into birth, and I watch them spin into their demise, and it fills me with a certain envy and melancholy simultaneously. I envy them for they get to unite almost as soon as they fall apart. I feel sad for them for the very same reason, for they never get to know life like us. They haven’t felt the ache of separation, have they? They haven’t rejoiced in the bliss of union, have they? Have they looked into the neverending expanse of this cosmos in the utter desperation of finding their One – hiding inside some planet, lurking around some horizon? O’ darling, have they felt the tumult of heart I have endured at each quantum of a picosecond? If their life has known no fear, have they really lived at all? If their love has known no pain, have they really loved at all? I know not.
Such fleeting pleasure to affirm your existence in my soul each moment; such brutal pain to fear for your loss before that moment passes away. What else can I do than peek into my soul - the only thing that binds us together beyond space and time - again and again? How it worries me to see less and less of your kind in the cosmos, and how it pesters me to be wildly pursued by the ones that are left alive. I know it must agonize you, the prospects of this situation. My dearest, I assure you that my love is no less in its intensity than yours. I hope you can feel it. I know you can feel it.
I know it’s a lot to think about, my love. But let’s not worry too much about it. Despite the ever-increasing separation between us, our paths will cross one day and our destinies will collide. The very universe that conspired to keep us apart will reward us for our love and bring us together again. Unlike our beginning, our ending will not amount to nothing. In that briefest moment of our union, I will be yours and you will be mine, and the world will burn from the flames of our passion. After all, to be with ye, and not to be, that is the answer. That is my destiny.